Beautiful Freak  1996

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Novocaine For The Soul

Life is hard
And so am i
You'd better give me something
So i don't die

Novocaine for the soul
Before i sputter out

Life is white
And i am black
Jesus and his lawyer
Are coming back
Oh my darling
Will you be here
Before i sputter out

Guess whose living here
With the great undead
This paint-by-numbers life
Is fucking with my head
Once again

Life is good
And i feel great
'cause mother says i was
A great mistake

Novocaine for the soul
You'd better give me something
To fill the hole
Before i sputter out

Susan's House

Going over to susan's house
Walking south down baxter street
Nothing hiding behind this picket fence
There's a crazy old woman smashing bottles
On the sidewalk where her house burnt down two years ago
People say that back then she really wasn't that crazy

Going over to susan's house
Going over to susan's house
She's gonna make it right

Down by the donut prince
A fifteen year old boy lies on the sidewalk
With a bullet in his forehead
In a final act of indignity
The paramedics take off all his clothes
For the whole world to see
While they put him in the bag
Meanwhile an old couple argues inside the queen bee
The sick fluorescent light shimmering on their skin

Going over to susan's house
Going over to susan's house
I can't be alone tonight

Take a left down echo park
A kid asks do i want some crack
Tv sets are spewing baywatch
Through the windows into black

Here comes a girl with long brown hair
Who can't be more than seventeen
She sucks on a red popsicle while she pushes a baby girl
In a pink carriage
And i'm thinking that must be her sister
That must be her sister, right?
They go into the 7-11
And i keep walking

Going over to susan's house

Rags To Rags

There's a spider crawling on the bathroom mirror
Right on top of my right eye
And i can't stop staring back
How did i get this way?
Take a big look at a living lie

Rags to rags and rust to rust
How do you stand when you've been crushed?
So rags to riches was a bust

Sometimes i dream about it
What it's like back home
The railroad tracks and the pussy willow
But i had to leave it
Now i go back
Whenever my tired head hits the pillow

Rags to rags and rust to rust
How do you stand when you've been crushed?
So rags to riches was a bust

Busted once again
Well i'll show them one day
That i can buy and sell the world

And one day i'll come through my american dream
But it won't mean a fucking thing

Rags to rags and rust to rust
How do you stand when you've been crushed?
So rags to rags and rust to rust
Don't let me go

Beautiful Freak

You're such a beautiful freak
I wish there were more just like you
You're not like all of the others

And that is why i love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak
That is why i love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

Some people think you have a problem
But that problem lies only with them
Just 'cause you are not like the others

But that is why i love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak
Yeah that is why i love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

Too good for this world
But i hope you will stay
And i'll be here to see
That you don't fade away

You're such a beautiful freak
I bet you are flying inside
Dart down and then go for cover

And know that i
I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak
You know that i
I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

Not Ready Yet

There's a world outside
And i know 'cause i've heard talk
In my sweetest dream
I would go out for a walk

But i don't think i'm ready yet
I'm not feeling up to it now
Just not that steady yet
And i don't need you telling me how

There's some happiness
And my stone face cracks again
Maybe sometime sooner or later

But i don't think i'm ready yet
I'm not feeling up to it now
Just not that steady yet
And i don't need you telling me how

So if i leave my room
Don't you tell me to lighten up
Maybe sometime sooner or later

But i don't think i'm ready yet
I'm not feeling up to it now
Just not that steady yet
And i don't need you telling me how

My Beloved Monster

My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather

She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean

My beloved monster is tough
If she wants she will disrobe you
But if you lay her down for a kiss
Her little heart it could explode

She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn
Mean

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la

Flower

Turn the ugly light off god
Wanna feel the night
Everyday it shines down on me
Don't you think that i see
Don't you think that i see what it's all about
Hard to look the other way
While the world passes me by
And everyone is trying to bum me out

It's a pretty big world god
And i am awful small
Everyday they rain down on me
Flower in a hailstorm
Flower in a hailstorm
I'm living for the drought
I could throw it back at them
But then i play their game
Everyone is trying to bum me out

When i came into this world they slapped me
And everyday since then i'm slapped again
Tomorrow's king: an unsightly coward
You see, i know i'm gonna win

Turn the ugly light off god
Don't wanna see my face
Everyday it will betray me
Don't you think that i know
Don't you think that i know
What they're talking about
If they step on me tonight
They're gonna pay someday
Everyone is trying to bum me out

Guest List

Are you one of the beautiful people
Is my name on the list
Wanna be of the beautiful people
Wanna feel like i'm missed

Hey you with the walkie talkie
I know my clothes are not right
I wish i had my own walkie talkie
That reached to god every night

Everyone needs to be somebody
Everyone needs to find someone who cares
But i don't know if you know what i mean
'cause i'm never on your list

Are you one of the beautiful people
Am i on the wrong track
Sometimes it feels like i'm made of eggshell
And it feels like i'm gonna crack

Everyone needs to be somebody
Everyone needs to find someone who cares
But i don't know if you know what i mean
'cause i'm never on your list

Mental

It's like i dressed up in my mama's clothing
It's like i'm talking to a voice that doesn't exist
It's like i got a wire crossed upstairs
But all i want is just a little truth
And that's it

They say i'm mental but i'm just confused
They say i'm mental but i've been abused
They say i'm mental 'cause i'm not amused by it all

Another anchorman is on the tv
He's got that far away and vacant look in his eye
I turn the channel but nothing is changing
The only truth is that everything is a lie

They say i'm mental but i'm just confused
They say i'm mental but i've been abused
They say i'm mental 'cause i'm not amused by it all

There's truth in everything
There's truth in lies
With all this knowledge i think i'm gonna be wise

They say i'm mental but i'm just confused
They say i'm mental but i've been abused
They say i'm mental 'cause i'm not amused by it all
Not at all

Spunky

Spunky don't like her uniform
It never fit so good
Going back to the orphanage
And the place where her garage once stood

Well it's a free-for-all
Free-for-all, free-for-all
It's a free-for-all
You and me
And if you don't like what they are telling you
You can't teach a blind man to see
Well i can see

Spunky looks good in her bright red wig
Eating chocolate chip mint ice cream
A cat named lola with a violent past
Is balled-up asleep 'cross her knees

And it's a free-for-all
Free-for-all, free-for-all
It's a free-for-all
You and me
One day the world will be ready for you
And wonder how they didn't see

Spunky knows she can save the world
In her own little way
Turning in her old uniform
'cause you know it really didn't pay

'cause it's a free-for-all
Free-for-all, free-for-all
It's a free-for-all
You and me
I'll walk through the world with your name on my tongue
And your picture etched on my screen

Your Lucky Day In Hell

Mama gripped onto the milkman's hand
And then she finally gave birth
Years go by still i don't know
Who shall inherit this earth
And no one will know my name until it's on a stone

This could be your lucky day in hell
Never know who it might be at your doorbell
This could be your lucky day in hell

Waking up with an ugly face
Winston churchhill in drag
Looking for a new maternal embrace
Another tired old gag
Am i just a walking bag of chewed up dust and bones

This could be your lucky day in hell
Never know who it might be at your doorbell
This could be your lucky day in hell

Father theresa, you can't make me into you
I never wanna be like you
Why can't you see it's me
You know it's time to let me go

This could be your lucky day in hell
Never know who it might be at your doorbell
This could be your lucky day in hell

Manchild

And every time you crave for me i'm here
And anything you hunger for i'll share
And i will be quietly standing by
While slowly i am dying inside

Hold me in your arms
And let me be the one
Who can feel like i am a child in love

Every time i talk to you you're down
And every time you need a laugh i'm around
And when you forget i'm here i'm not
It isn't really me that you forgot

Hold me in your arms
And let me be the one
Who can feel like i am a child in love

Whisper now and tell me how
You'll watch me and tell me
Somehow i'm gonna be alright

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