Helplessness Blues  2011

 

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Montezuma

So now I am older than my mother and father
when they had their daughter
now what does that say about me

Oh how could I dream of such a selfless and true love
could I wash my hands of
just looking out for me

Oh man what I used to be
Oh man oh my oh me
Oh man what I used to be
Oh man oh my oh me

In dearth or in excess
both the slave and the empress
will return to the dirt I guess, naked as when they came

I wonder if I'll see any faces above me
or just cracks in the ceiling
nobody else to blame

Oh man what I used to be
Oh man oh my oh me
Oh man that I used to be
Oh man oh my oh me

Gold teeth and gold jewelry
every piece of your dowry
throw them into the tomb with me
bury them with my name

Unless I have someday
Ran my wandering mind away

Oh man what I used to be
Montezuma to Tripoli
Oh man oh my oh me

Bedouin Dress

If to borrow is to take and not return
I have borrowed all my lonesome life
And I can't, no I can't get through
The borrower's debt is the only regret of my youth

And believe me it's not easy when I look back
Everything I took got soon returned
Just to be adding it's free again
All of the sirens are driving me over the stern

Just to be adding it's free again
All of the sirens are driving me over the stern

One day added is free
One day that's my ...

In the street one day I saw you among the crowd
In a geometric pattern dressed
Gleaming white just as I recall
Old as I get I will never forget it at all
Gleaming white just as I recall
Old as I get I will never forget it at all

One day added is free
One day that's my ...

Sim Sala Bim

He was so kind, such a gentleman tied to the oceanside
Lighting a match on the suitcase's latch in the fading of night

Ruffle the fur of the collie 'neath the table
Ran out the door through the dark
Carved out his initials in the bark

Then the Earth shook, that was all that it took for the dream to break
All the loose ends would surround me again in the shape of your face

What makes me love you despite the reservations?
What do I see in your eyes
Besides my reflection hanging high?

Are you off somewhere reciting incantations?
Sim sala bim on your tongue
Carving off the hair of someone's young

Remember when you had me cut your hair?
Call me Delilah then I wouldn't care

Battery Kinzie

I woke up one morning
All my fingers rotten
I woke up a dying man without a chance

I came to your window
Threw a stone and waited
At the door a stranger stood
The stranger's voice said nothing good
I turned to walk the frozen ground alone
All the way home

Wide-eyed walker
Do not wander
Do not wander
Through the dawn

Both my eyes are fading
No light in the evening
Planted like a seed in sand and drowned in rain

Watch you for an hour
He kept you beneath him
He kept you on lock and key
He paid the wage you sent to me
And waste the day so idly alone
All the way home

Wide-eyed walker
Do not wander
Do not wander
Through the dawn
Wide-eyed walker
Do not wander
Do not wander
Through the dawn

The Plains / Bitter Dancer

Just as the sand made everything round
Just as the tar seeps up from the ground
Bitter dancer, ever turning
So was the day that you came to town

You took a room and you settled in
Washed off the chalk from your weathered skin
Daylight sleeper
Bloody reaper
You took a room and you settled in

I should have known one day you would come
All of us walk so blind in the sun
Midnight feeder, beggar pleader
I should had known one day you would come

Tell me again my only son
Tell me again what have you done

At arm's lengths
I will hold you there
There

At arm's length
I will hold you there
There

 

Someone You'd Admire

After all is said and done I feel the same
All that I hoped would change within me stayed
Like a huddled moon-lit exile on the shore
Warming his hands, a thousand years ago

I walk with others in the yearning to get out
Claw at my skin and gnash their teeth and shout
One of them wants only to be someone you'd admire
One would as soon just throw you on the fire

After all is said and after all is done
God only knows which of them I'll become

Helplessness Blues

I was raised up believing I was somehow unique
Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see
And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be
A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me

But I don't, I don't know what that will be
I'll get back to you someday soon you will see

What's my name, what's my station, oh, just tell me what I should do
I don't need to be kind to the armies of night that would do such injustice to you
Or bow down and be grateful and say "sure, take all that you see"
To the men who move only in dimly-lit halls and determine my future for me

And I don't, I don't know who to believe
I'll get back to you someday soon you will see

If I know only one thing, it's that everything that I see
Of the world outside is so inconceivable often I barely can speak
Yeah I'm tongue-tied and dizzy and I can't keep it to myself
What good is it to sing helplessness blues, why should I wait for anyone else?

And I know, I know you will keep me on the shelf
I'll come back to you someday soon myself

If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm raw
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore
And you would wait tables and soon run the store

Gold hair in the sunlight, my light in the dawn
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore
Someday I'll be like the man on the screen

Lorelai

So guess I got old
I was like trash on the sidewalk
I guess I knew why
Often it's hard to just sweet talk

I was old news to you then
Old news, old news to you then

You, you were like glue
Holding each of us together
I slept through July
While you made lines in the heather

I was old news to you then
Old news, old news to you then

Fell for the ruse with you then
Old news, old news to you then

And I still see you when I try to sleep
I see the garden, the tower, the street
Call out to nobody, call out to me
Chip on the shoulder, the dime in the teeth

Now I can see how
We were like dust on the window
Not much, not a lot
Everything's stolen or borrowed

I was old news to you then
Old news, old news to you then

The Shrine / An Argument

I went down among the dust and pollen
to the old stone fountain in the morning after dawn
underneath were all these pennies fallen from the hands of children
they were there and then they were gone

and I wonder what became of them
what became of them

sunlight over me no matter what I do
apples in the Summer are golden sweet
everyday a passing complete

I'm not one to ever pray for mercy
or to wish on pennies n the fountain or the shrine
but that day you know I left my money
and I thought of you only
all that copper glowing fine

and I wonder what become of you
what became of you

Sunlight over me no matter what I do
apples in the summer are golden sweet
everyday a passing complete
apples in the summer are golden sweet
everyday a passing complete

In the morning waking up to terrible sunlight
All the skin abuse the sun
when you talk you haunt me
in the morning, in the morning

In the doorway holding that letter I wrote
in the driveway pulling away putting on your coat
in the ocean washing off my name from your throat
in the morning, in the morning

in the ocean washing off my name from your throat
in the morning, in the morning

Green apples hang from my tree
they belong only to me
Green apples hang from my green apple tree
they belong only to, only to me

and if I just stay awhile here staring at the sea
and the waves break ever closer, ever near to me
I will lay down in the sand and let the ocean leave
carry me to in the sea like pollen on the breeze

Blue Spotted Tail

Why in the night sky are the lights on?
Why is the earth moving round the sun?
Floating in the vacuum with no purpose, not a one
Why in the night sky are the lights on?

Why is life made only for to end?
Why do generals break in (it?) at the bend? (?)
Why this frightened part of me that's fated to pretend?
Why is life made only for to end?

In the city only for a while
Here to face the fortune and the bile
I heard you on the radio, I couldn't help but smile
In the city only for a while

Why in the night sky are the lights on?
Why is the earth moving round the sun?
Floating in the vacuum with no purpose, not a one
Why in the night sky are the lights on?

 

Grown Ocean

In that dream I'm as old as the mountains
Still is starlight reflected in fountains
Children grown on the edge of the ocean
Kept like jewelry kept with devotion

In that dream moving slow through the morning

You would come to me then without answers
Lick my wounds and remove my demands for now
Eucalyptus and orange trees are blooming
In that dream there's no darkness alluded

In that dream moving slow through the morning time

In that dream I could hardly contain it
All my life I will wait to attain it
There, there, there

I know someday the smoke will all burn off
All these voices I'll someday have turned off
I will see you someday when I've woken
I'll be so happy just to have spoken
I'll have so much to tell you about it

In that dream I could hardly contain it
All my life I will wait to attain it
There, there, there

Wide-eyed walker, don't betray me
I will wake one day, don't delay me
Wide-eyed leaver, always going

     
     
   

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