Ich Tote Mich Jedesmal Aufs Neue...  1999

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Birth-Fiendish Figuration

Exposed with hands as empty as the opposite space, crawlingly we move to where the final station lies. To whom is the debt that we are forced to pray, real faces dare to appear only when we turn away. Truth reveals itself ...- reveal yourself.

A face ordained ...- two hypocrites; we know the masks, the artificial smiles. "Mind's black eyes should break the lies."

Distorted pictures are all transparent to us; phantasmagoria ...- such a useful weapon. Ineffectual against us: enemies with the knowledge of truth; truth makes me sick, what a wretched play. Paralysed by flesh and bones. Condemned to vegetate, condemned to stay alone. Helplessly we are escaping, we're clinging to ...- Stranded at the shores of the infamed side. Our distress in perfection, trials and tribulations. Preferring our pain we stay and die ...

Tanz Der Grausamkeit

Tongue of Silence, lick my lips, steal my thoughts and steal my pride. My soul lies offered as I am waiting, intoxicate me when you step inside. Hold my hands, my hands are trembling, your charming beauty takes my breath. Fragrant per fumes veil my senses tormentress. Out of darkness we all came from, flights from darkness is in vain. I am the banquet, I am deficious, into darkness we'll fall back again ...

Meister des Mordes, nimm meine Augen, an diesen Ort kann ich nicht sein, strecke mich nieder, zerschlage mein Haupt. Meister des Mordes, schenke mir den Tod. Meiste des Mordes, erhöre mein flehen, beende die Leiden, nimm den Schmerz von mir. Öffne die Tore, es ist für mich Zeit, Meister des Mordes dieser Tanz ist Grausamkeit. Meister des Mordes, nimm meine Augen, gefangen in Fleisch, erbärmlich und alt. Führe mich fort in die Dunkelheit, Vater meiner Seele, diese Tanz ist Grausamkeit. Vater meiner Seele, rei? mich in den Tod ... es tut mir Leid

Im Garten Des Nichts (A Secret Light In The Garden Of My Void)

Wage nicht, mich zu berühren! Dies ist der Garten des Nichts. Hier kannst Du niemanden täuschen, niemand belügen, dein Herz ist aus Glas im Garten des Nichts. Hier bist "Du" wertlos, nichts als Fleisch. Fleisch für die Bestie(n) im Garten des Nichts ....

Deine Schreie verhallen hier ungehört, und Deine Hoffnungen ... von eigener Hand, zerstört. Im Garten des Nichts ... "Ein geheimes Licht schläft in der Finsternis, öffne Deine Augen erkenne wer Du bist! Brenne und werde zu Licht!"

I close my eyes and breath the light within myself ...- it has been there all the time. How blind I had been, I couldn't see. I have searched the outside for the answer ...- it was me.

Steig' hinab in die Hölle, damit Du erkennst, woher Du kommst, damit Du erkennst, wohin Du gehörst. Fühle den Schmerz, fühle den Ha? fühle die Qual, die Einsamkeit. "Erhebe Dein böses Auge!" Du bist Dein böses Auge, und wohin du auch schaust, stets erblickst Du Dich selbst.

Öffne Deine Augen!!! Nicht Fleisch bist Du, steige hinab n das Fleisch, doch nicht Fleisch bist Du!!! Nicht Dunkelheit bist Du, darum falle, falle hinab in die Dunkelheit ...- und träume! Aber hüte Dich vor dem Schlaf"!"

"Ein geheimes Licht schläft in der Finsternis, öffne Deine Augen, erkenne wer Du bist. Brenne und werde zu Licht! Reich' mir die Hand, denn wir sind das Band. Die Brücke, der Bogen zwischen Unten und Oben. Brenne und werde zu Licht!"

Time stands still ... (... but stops for no-one)

That little mountain rises while other dissolve into a plain, time redefines itself and falls in sadness grain by grain ... "Time heals all the wounds", the two - tongued echoes seem to say, but nothing, nothing changes, still pain remains, won't pass away ... I went weal as I grew old, and time itself has made me slow, and as I close my eyes in sadness a thousand seasons come and go ... Mighty enough to cover all and also cruel enough to reveal, but the wounds and scars I carry neither force nor kiss can heal ... No, time heals nothing, nothing, nothing, spitefully turns away and laughs, leaves you half-broken and in defiance is only added another scar ... Call it "blind" how I am writhing, counting hours, centuries. The pain it glows and grows in tides, unable to vanish, unwilling to cease ... No time heals nothing, nothing, nothing, pushes 'till we're diving into different flesh. Time heals nothing, nothing, nothing in the coldness of the inner flames... time's fingers claw, I am losing hold, there is no hope for me on earth. Time either still or maybe rushing, in any case it will turn out worse ... Time is fleeting, time stands still, it stops for no-one and we're trapped withing. Though I may dream of the light, I am falling back to the left-hand side ... "How I wish that I was dead and rest in final peace, but even the luxury of death can't cure the wounds time cannot heal..."

Time Stands Still... (...But Stops For No-One)

That little mountain rises while other dissolve into a plain, time redefines itself and falls in sadness grain by grain ... "Time heals all the wounds", the two - tongued echoes seem to say, but nothing, nothing changes, still pain remains, won't pass away ... I went weal as I grew old, and time itself has made me slow, and as I close my eyes in sadness a thousand seasons come and go ... Mighty enough to cover all and also cruel enough to reveal, but the wounds and scars I carry neither force nor kiss can heal ... No, time heals nothing, nothing, nothing, spitefully turns away and laughs, leaves you half-broken and in defiance is only added another scar ... Call it "blind" how I am writhing, counting hours, centuries. The pain it glows and grows in tides, unable to vanish, unwilling to cease ... No time heals nothing, nothing, nothing, pushes 'till we're diving into different flesh. Time heals nothing, nothing, nothing in the coldness of the inner flames... time's fingers claw, I am losing hold, there is no hope for me on earth. Time either still or maybe rushing, in any case it will turn out worse ... Time is fleeting, time stands still, it stops for no-one and we're trapped withing. Though I may dream of the light, I am falling back to the left-hand side ... "How I wish that I was dead and rest in final peace, but even the luxury of death can't cure the wounds time cannot heal..."

Do you know my Name? (Falling ...- reprise)

I shattered all the mirrors fearfully hoping that they won't be able to remember my face. Darkest of all light, most greedy to embrace, surrounded by demons and breathing in life. "I don't want to be a perverted temple of my Lord ... though his hands I am, I have forgotten how to hear or understand his words..." Between tides the time seems endlessly, the force of habit or whatever pulle d me back into a well-known pain. What uses the knowledge of my progressions when the old world is g one? Without a new "inside", with my new-found life, I am homeless again ... "I don't want to be a perverted temple of my Lord. Through his flesh I am, I have forgotten how to hear or understand his words ..." I am falling down, back to the lowest spheres ...- Do you know my name? Did you answer? I just cannot hear ...

Penance & Pain

"Living ...- have a look at the living! Dancing blindly, losing balance ... - will you choose pain or will you prefer "the penance"?" The living and the undead ...- penance and pain. Light and dark, into paths ahead: Death to Rebirth or "life undead"". Life on one side, the Undead on the other side ...- the darkest side. I don't belong to "your" side anymore, I am one of the Undead ...- damned and forgotten.
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Holy Water Moonlight

Undead and still suffering, always suffering ... Wooden stake impales my heart, driving through this ancient heart ... Holy water heal my wounds! Everyt hing has changed its side ... The tear of the Devil shed a light upon heart, but unfaithful sneaking eyes betrayed my soul, befouled the dark ...

The night is sweet, never deceptive or of treachery. The cruel lights in the wake of the dawn is my true enemy ... I have seen my fall ...- end of it all. Holy water, shed a lights upon my life! Holy water, everything has changed its side ... Your silver rays brought me back to life, gifted me, gave me new sights. Holy moonlight...

Beautiful Thorn

Ivy kissed the shadows, as morning lusts for deed, (s)he, with lips of sweetest pain, lies in wait for you. With the death (s)he went away, before the mist veiled the earth. Hosting remained, except the wounds the only gifts for her... "For themselves they should despair, when our graves lie in silence but we'r e not there; when there are voices close to your ear, but no reflection" haunts the mirror... "With the daring me went away before mist veiled the earth, nothing remained except the wounds; the only gifts of me and her...

The Feast of Blood

Today the y've found another one, lifeless an the old subway floor. His face was turned to his back ...- the same way the others died before. "Drain the mortals to their last convulsion and veil the ancient cause. Let off of them and see then tumble, let off and en joy their fall!" The feast of blood ... "This mortal nectar that warms from the inside, this very special sort of mine. So delicious ...- let it flow, devour! Oh, so divine! ... and the feast shall never end, until we all descend ...- in hell.

Dark Delight(s)

Hands folded in a prayer, a rosary embedded in-between tonight I'll join you in your sleep ... I'll bring you back to life this night, it's wont for the flesh at least. I will join you in your sleep. Come up, I hear your voice, this is not me. I'm not aware of what I am doing! I'll shiver at the recollection when I'll awake with the soil on my hands ... I know, they will find you ...- fallen to sleep again between the mounts and crosses. Tomorrow night is will be just the same, it will be just the same ...

Baptisma

Shivering with awe and daylight, "here is my throat", I said, as I bowed my head in silence to him. Behold my white flesh shining in the velvet darkness. Take me now and I will be yours, forever ... there I stood bare and willing; as the blood -my blood- w a s streaming down this naked body, my naked body. Gushing out of the wounds, enfeebled I was sinking to the floor "cold", I thought, "so cold the stones ..., but colder I'll be soon ...-still not enough ..." this is the moment, my beautiful beloved one, th e time has come, to send a farewell to the sin, to cross the threshold and leave all those mortal dregs behind. You shall be flesh of my blood ... Let me take what you have to give, let me take, and you shall receive. Feel the beat of my death heart ..., a nd drink, as I have done, drink, my beautiful beloved one!" A new, flower in the ancient bouquet. Another rose in the garden of darkness that will never see the day, that will never see the day ...

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