独乐乐——Sopor Aeternus

The Inexperienced Spiral Traveller 1997
To A Loyal Friend Once there was a time, when the conquest of pain was all that I could hope for, had been my only aim. Happiness or joy merely unwords without meaning, they were unwanted anyway as surely out of place. All I wanted was the voices to be silent a brief moment in the dark, in loneliness and chill. How I wished my mind could escape the camat dungeon that was flying silently through space while I lay caged and chained within. Today my view - strangely increased - it is beyond compare, but nothing became easier, I'm still struggling to be free. A thousand different things dare to appear before my eyes now, they come and leave untouched, because still I cannot see. In true darkness there's no choice than do discover the uselessness of eyes, giving birth from their own despair. Here eyes can nothing but decay and if I fail and do identify myself with them then their destiny I'll share... You are with me all the time - all the time. So very unreasonable had been my fear. How could I ever believe that I might be losing you when forever we're connected and you are part of me. It's your omnipresence that defines the way in which I do exist, forcefully leading me back to where I do belong. Opening my eyes to see the true essence of my being, by dissolving the distractions of the outer world. In the loneliness of the pain you bring the isolation of my soul guarantees the maintenance of the only thing that I know, my natural and obvious differency. Beloved old friend and life-time companion without you to nothing I would fall. Your power pervades me and lies me low, but as the same time a new strenght is born in my soul. In a universe of change and continuous movement I am counting on you since I know you shall last. Being my darkness and the basis of splendor light-giving background as most fertile past. You trance-formation source of understanding you are the power that is pulling me down. Whenever lightness seeks to carry me away you connect me safely to the ground. You chill of my winter, eternal Saturn-sphere, petrified and frozen with a logic cold as ice I walk through the world look in surprise at the living without being able to share their strange delights. Beloved old friend, and bringer of sadness, shadow-like cloak almost matters so real, you slip right through me like I was merely membrane, my feelings so ambivalent when my wounds refuse to heal...	The Inexperienced Spiral Traveller Alles ist nur Illusion und von mir erschaffen, Doch ich vermag ihr nicht zu entflieh'n, Bin in meinem eigenen Trugbild gefangen, Und meine armen Augen erkennen kein Ziel. Die Antwort kann niemals im Aussen sein, Sie liegt stets im Innern, schlt tief in mir drin, Doch welches Auge schaut hinein, Ich brauche ein neues Auge, Einen neuen Sinn. Die Zeit ist wie ein Ort und Gleichsam ein Zustand, Und ich bin darin, denn ich bin ihr Quell, Gefangen in meiner eigenen Sch鎝fung, Auf der verzweifelten Suche nach meinem wahren Selbst... 　 Memalon Who is the old man, who fills my heart with greatest pain yet his name remains unheard? I look at you and true tears shake my eternal Saturnworld. Who is the old man, whose picture burned itself down to the bottom of my soul. You push me back and raise me up, the criteria for both I long to know. Who are you I worship? What is the name of the one I saw? Tell me how to reach you, to you I'd bow my head in awe. You speak to me but what is it I hear? We have never really touched... - such is the design of my greatest fear. Cruel, cruel, cruel... a veil I cannot penetrate, in different worlds we dwell, attempting to dissolve what separates. I force my face against this strangest membrane-wall and desperately I call for you from the darkest depths of my lonely soul. The mist of the dimensions through which to glance it seems not allowed, or maybe it's just that our "level" is of no interest as it is simply too low. Is it true that only the mirrors' strength can conquer the mist and then be therefore received? You turn around the illusion of a voice... - my desire crowned by another defeat. If doubt walks in I am growing weak in fear... - "one day all pictures fade". Lying down, looking inside I call my dead lover in his grave. My eyes have caught a glimpse of you, now I devour myself to embrace your peace. The distance grows, we drift apart. What is the use of eyes if they cannot see? Hear me in my darkness, please wait for me, I'll find the way. I promise, I shall resist the tides, until I'm finally united with you again...	Memories Are Haunted Places Exposed with hands as empty as the opposite space, crawling we move to where the final station lies, to whom is the debt that we are forced to pay...? Real forces dare to appear only when we turn away, truth reveals itself Reveal yourself! A face ordained to hypocrites, we know the masks, their artificial smiles, "Mind's black eyes should break the lies!" Distorted pictures are all transparent to us, phantasmagoria... such a useful weapon, ineffectual against us, enemies, with the knowledge of truth... ...truth makes me sick, what a wretched play! Paralyezed by flesh and bones, condemned to vegetate, condemned to stay alone Helplessy we are escaping, we're dinging to.. . stranded ashore, "Oh, beloved infamous side!" Our distress in perfections, trials and tribulation, preferring our pain, we'll stay and die... 　 Synchronicity Saturn-Orion, Saturn-Orion into the night, we call Saturn-Orion beyond this darkness sense Jupiter arise travelling in silence we tranvce-form our minds beyond this darkness sense Jupiter's rise mit offenem Geiste werden mit EINS 　 Totenlicht Den Raum verdernd schlie? ich meine Augen. Ich reise, doch ich bewege mich nicht auf der Suche nach Dir, der Du es verstehst, wie man sich meinem Bewu焧sein erfolgreich entzieht. Das Ziel meiner Reise sollst Du sein, diesseits formloser Grenzen, die niemand kennt. Traurigstes aller Universen, in dem nur ich existiere, doch vom Leben getrennt. 　 May I Kiss Your Wound? May I kiss your wound, maybe that will heal my soul. Free me from this tomb, light my darkness make me (whole) let me take your hand and together we shall fly to a lonely place, where as lovers we can die. In a land so dark, seven moons, eternal nights, wish a sky of thousand stars, yes for us there is no light... There (waits) no lights.