The Inexperienced Spiral Traveller 1997

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To A Loyal Friend

Once there was a time,
when the conquest of
pain was all that I
could hope for, had
been my only aim.
Happiness or joy merely
unwords without meaning,
they were unwanted
anyway as surely out of place.
All I wanted was the
voices to be silent
a brief moment in the
dark, in loneliness and chill.
How I wished my mind
could escape the camat dungeon
that was flying silently
through space while
I lay caged and chained within.
Today my view - strangely
increased - it is beyond compare,
but nothing became easier,
I'm still struggling to be free.
A thousand different things
dare to appear before my eyes
now, they come and leave
untouched, because still I cannot see.
In true darkness there's
no choice than do discover
the uselessness of eyes,
giving birth from their own despair.
Here eyes can nothing but
decay and if I fail and do
identify myself with them
then their destiny I'll share...
You are with me all the time - all
the time. So very unreasonable
had been my fear. How could
I ever believe that I might
be losing you when forever
we're connected and you
are part of me. It's your
omnipresence that defines
the way in which I do
exist, forcefully leading
me back to where I do belong.
Opening my eyes to see
the true essence of my
being, by dissolving
the distractions of the
outer world. In the loneliness
of the pain you bring the
isolation of my soul guarantees
the maintenance of the only
thing that I know, my
natural and obvious differency.
Beloved old friend and life-time
companion without you to
nothing I would fall. Your
power pervades me and lies
me low, but as the same time
a new strenght is born in
my soul.
In a universe of change
and continuous movement
I am counting on you
since I know you shall last.
Being my darkness and
the basis of splendor
light-giving background
as most fertile past. You
trance-formation source
of understanding you are
the power that is pulling
me down. Whenever
lightness seeks to carry
me away you connect
me safely to the ground.
You chill of my winter,
eternal Saturn-sphere,
petrified and frozen
with a logic cold as ice
I walk through the
world look in surprise
at the living without
being able to share
their strange delights.
Beloved old friend, and
bringer of sadness,
shadow-like cloak almost
matters so real, you slip
right through me like
I was merely membrane,
my feelings so ambivalent
when my wounds refuse to heal...

The Inexperienced Spiral Traveller

Alles ist nur Illusion und von mir erschaffen,
Doch ich vermag ihr nicht zu entflieh'n,
Bin in meinem eigenen Trugbild gefangen,
Und meine armen Augen erkennen kein Ziel.
Die Antwort kann niemals im Aussen sein,
Sie liegt stets im Innern, schl¤ft tief in mir drin,
Doch welches Auge schaut hinein,
Ich brauche ein neues Auge,
Einen neuen Sinn.
Die Zeit ist wie ein Ort und Gleichsam ein Zustand,
Und ich bin darin, denn ich bin ihr Quell,
Gefangen in meiner eigenen Schæpfung,
Auf der verzweifelten Suche nach meinem wahren Selbst...

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Memalon

Who is the old man, who fills
my heart with greatest pain
yet his name remains unheard?
I look at you and true tears shake
my eternal Saturnworld.
Who is the old man, whose
picture burned itself
down to the bottom of my soul.
You push me back and raise me up,
the criteria for both I long to know.
Who are you I worship? What is the
name of the one I saw?
Tell me how to reach you, to you I'd
bow my head in awe.
You speak to me but what is it I hear?
We have never really touched...
- such is the design of my greatest fear.
Cruel, cruel, cruel... a veil I cannot penetrate,
in different worlds we dwell,
attempting to dissolve what separates.
I force my face against this strangest
membrane-wall and desperately I call for you
from the darkest depths of my lonely soul.
The mist of the dimensions
through which to glance it seems not allowed,
or maybe it's just that our "level" is of no
interest as it is simply too low.
Is it true that only the mirrors' strength
can conquer the mist and then be therefore received?
You turn around the illusion of a voice...
- my desire crowned by another defeat.
If doubt walks in I am growing weak in fear...
- "one day all pictures fade".
Lying down, looking inside
I call my dead lover in his grave.
My eyes have caught a glimpse of you,
now I devour myself to embrace your peace.
The distance grows, we drift apart.
What is the use of eyes if they cannot see?
Hear me in my darkness,
please wait for me, I'll find the way.
I promise, I shall resist the tides,
until I'm finally united with you again...

Memories Are Haunted Places

Exposed with hands as empty
as the opposite space,
crawling we move
to where the final station lies,
to whom is the debt
that we are forced to pay...?
Real forces dare to appear only
when we turn away,
truth reveals itself
Reveal yourself!
A face ordained to hypocrites,
we know the masks,
their artificial smiles,
"Mind's black eyes should break the lies!"
Distorted pictures are all
transparent to us,
phantasmagoria... such a useful weapon,
ineffectual against us, enemies,
with the knowledge of truth...
...truth makes me sick,
what a wretched play!
Paralyezed by flesh and bones,
condemned to vegetate,
condemned to stay alone
Helplessy we are escaping,
we're dinging to..
. stranded ashore,
"Oh, beloved infamous side!"
Our distress in perfections,
trials and tribulation,
preferring our pain,
we'll stay and die...

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Synchronicity

Saturn-Orion, Saturn-Orion
into the night, we call Saturn-Orion
beyond this darkness sense
Jupiter arise travelling in silence
we tranvce-form our minds
beyond this darkness sense
Jupiter's rise
mit offenem Geiste
werden mit EINS

¡¡

Totenlicht

Den Raum ver¤ndernd schlie? ich meine Augen.
Ich reise, doch ich bewege mich nicht
auf der Suche nach Dir, der Du es verstehst,
wie man sich meinem BewuŸtsein erfolgreich entzieht.
Das Ziel meiner Reise sollst Du sein,
diesseits formloser Grenzen, die niemand kennt.
Traurigstes aller Universen,
in dem nur ich existiere, doch vom Leben getrennt.

¡¡

May I Kiss Your Wound?

May I kiss your wound,
maybe that will heal
my soul. Free me from
this tomb, light my darkness
make me (whole)
let me take your hand
and together we shall fly
to a lonely place, where
as lovers we can die.
In a land so dark, seven
moons, eternal nights, wish
a sky of thousand stars,
yes for us there is no light...
There (waits) no lights.

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